I Still Love You, BAKA!
by Yasumoni
Summary: After having lost her voice and the functon of her legs while Natsume was away, Mikan decided to cut all ties, relations with Natsume thinking herself to be unworthy of him...But will Natsume be that easy to get rid of!..ONESHOT...gIVE iT A tRY!


_**Hiiiiiiii!…**_

_**Disclaimer…- I don't owe anyone anything…..U can call it intense craziness due to gakuen alice .He! he!**_

_**Inspiration- Ritu's Shalom (I am a biiiiig fan of it) and another story which I don't remember when or where I read it….But I think I did…?#*?#?…..The writing style and most of the story is entirely mine ….^_^**_

_**I Still Love You….,BAKA!**_

"Oi! Polka! Can't you even wish me a happy journey…"

Sniff! " IDIOT PERVERT FOX! What do you care…You will be away for two years…LOOK AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE AT ALL THOSE PRETY GIRLS…..…Isn't it natural for me to cry…?"

" Anyone would think you are my girlfriend…And we will be in contact through e-mails, phones…..."

"…Meanie..…" I remained silent…It was true…If there was anything I wanted to be then it was his _**special someone**_

"Its time now…..Polka, _Don't cry…._You look 300 times more ugly when you cry..."

"Meanie!….'….Even now I couldn't help but stick out my tongue…

"Bye Polka…I love you….."

Without a backward glance…..without my answer…..without another single word he went away…

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All my way back I couldn't stop thinking about him…..He was going to Cambridge University,….He won't be returning for two years…But I am sure after he returns we will be together ever after…..

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice my breaks weren't working when a truck was coming my way..Dammmmmmit!…Damn! Brakes! Why aren't they working!….

..Before I could panic the ….My car went on a head on collision with the truck…

….Barely alive…..life seeping out…..if this feels like dying then ….even then my last words are… were…will always be…_.__Natsume…NATSUME!_

I awoke up from the monotonous sound of the various machines….Yaaay! I was alive…..Man! I thought I was a complete lost cause….

Hotaru and Ruka pyon were near my bed…crying…

I wanted to reassure them that I was ok…..but no words came out of my mouth….I was unable to make a single sound…

"Mikan! I was so worried…We thought we would lose you…"

I started to panic…Why ! why can't I speak…..

Bip! Bip!

"Nurse!"

* * *

I learned later that my vocal cords were completely destroyed….I will never be able to speak again…..nor walk…Yes….my legs didn't get any nervous signals…Doctors said there is little chance I will ever walk again …perhaps never…..

I decided….I can never be with Natsume ….I didn't deserve him…He deserved …he deserved someone better …someone who can walk along with him in his life…someone who can sing to him the melody of the joyous life…..I will be nothing but an extra baggage to him….

Hotaru and Ruka hadn't contacted Natsume yet….I somehow managed to tell them…begged them not to inform him…..

My dream with Natsume stops here

But his messaged didn't stop….

"Polka! Pick up the phone!"

"What the….Hell! If you don't reply…I am coming down there?"

My phone rang the whole day…

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What did he know with his every message my heart yelled in pain…

Did he realize :every time the phone rings.. my heart rang in pain…

…I mailed him back …

"Natsume , It will be better if you forget me…..Because I know you love me…But I don't love you…I like someone else…I am sorry….Don't try to trace me….. I have changed my address…"That was my last email to him…"

"Mikan! Please …..please…PICK UP THE PHONE….. …."

"Hotaru, Ruka…No one picks up the phone…. What the hell!"

"Mikan!…I am sorry for calling you polka….I am sorry for everything …anything wrong which I ever did…..Please…please…. pick up the phone…"

"Please…please…please….Mikan….Pick up the phone…My life can't be complete without you…Please…..Pick up the phone…..At least talk to me about your new found LOVE..DAMNIT!"

He didn't know that I was willing to throw away my life just to talk to him….run to his arms….

….I ignored his phone calls everyday…..

I didn't reply to his messages…..

And they stopped after a month…

I ignored all his 1757 emails…

* * *

**After Two Years**

"You sulk all day…Do you want to bore yourself to death….."

"I wish I could…" I signed her back.

It was already two years after that incident…I learned the sign language thanks to Hotaru's insistence…You know Hotaru…she practically forced me….And she to took a course in sign language to interact with me…

"Mikan, I will hit you with baka gun if you get suicidal again….."

"Just joking…" I signed with my fingers….

"Lets go to the park" She smiled…Hotaru totally changed for me…..

Yeah! In the last two years I tried numerous attempts to kill myself…I begged Hotaru for cyanide….I tried to bleed myself to death…

Nothing worked…..Hotaru pried over me like I am a precious diamond….But I felt myself worthless like the worst piece of coal….If it was not for her I would have been long dead….. Why I didn't I die in the accident itself …...Nothing can be worse than living like this…

I tried to move my legs…again and again….But they won't move…I will be a vegetable all my life…..

"You know Mikan…Ruka and I are getting married next week…." She said while pushing my wheelchair…..

"At last you got to your senses…" I smiled and signed back…..

"And Natsume is getting married to …and he wants you to come…."

WHAT! I should have been very happy ! That's what I wanted for him…..That's what I wished for him all along…..This piece of information must have lifted my heart….

Only it didn't….I felt so sad….As if the only hope with which I was living was smashed . My hope that I will wake up from this nightmare crushed…..Did I have anything to live for now…Always being dependent on Hotaru…. .

Hotaru handed me the wedding card….. I stared at it with surprise….I got the greatest shock of my life…

It was written…

_Natsume Hugua weds Mikan Sakura…_

'What kind of joke is this' I signed back

"Really , look for yourself" And she gave me one of those rare bottom of the heart true smiles…

I looked forward….Only to get the greatest shock of my life…..

He was there looking ever handsome, his beautiful eyes stained and shimmering with tears…

I sat there enchanted, shell shocked…

"Mikan! " He took a step towards me….."Did you think you can get rid of my love this easily…If Hotaru hadn't told me I would have gone insane…..She told me that sympathy was the last thing you needed….So in this last two years I learned the sign language….To prove my love for you…So I can understand what you want to say…..and tell the world what you want to convey…..It doesn't matter if you can't sing …..I will sing for you….It doesn't matter if you can't walk…..I will carry you…..Mikan, you were mine, are mine, and it's a promise till eternity that you will be mine…_**I STILL LOVE YOU, BAKA!**" _He told everything with sign language…And his eyes conveyed everything that words could ever convey…... He stood there with his hands outstretched …..

I was overwhelmed with emotion…..And out of the blue ,,I tried to run into his outstretched hands….

And I did what I couldn't in two years…..

_I stood up…..Only for seconds…But I stood up.!_

I tried to take a step towards him…But I staggered and started to fall….

But he caught me and instead I fell in the endless abyss of his pain enveloped, tear filled beautiful crimson eyes…

And before all the children in the park…..

Before Hotaru….

His face lowered into mine….

His tears mingled with mine…

I could feel his breathing in my face…..

And than we…..I can do without writing this….Right_**?….*Blush' Blush***_

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_**There! I must have a serious crack in my head to start writing this just two days before my final English board exams…(though I have been writing it in bits and pieces for long)….If my mum knows she would hang me upside down in the fan…..He! he!,,,,.*just kidding*…But after physics and chemistry I guess I deserve a break…..Seeeeeeeee! I took such a great risk !**_

_**Anyways This story is dedicated to my parents, my brother , Ritu, The nameless author….And everyone who reviews….^_^**_

_**So pleaseeeee review…(both registered and not registered are welcome)**_

_**Yasmin…With love as Always…..**_

_**P.S- does anyone want to attend Natsume and Mikan's and Hotaru and Ruka's combined wedding here?…**_._**_…^_^**_


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